When words fail, music speaks

This weekend has been an experience for me. After thinking about that sentence I can say with the utmost authority - that is the biggest understatement yet.
Saturday, May 2 : Our worship team, Revolutions is scheduled to play at the Rose Festival in Orangeburg SC. It looks like rain. Secretly, I am glad. My wife is going to our friends' wedding, and I want to go with her. I even pray for rain. Then in the midst of all of my doubt, God speaks quietly to my heart and says "Go. Obey. Be still and know that I am God. Watch, wait".
I go to the church to meet our other worship leader, whom I have the utmost respect for, only to learn that she already has everything ready to roll. I load up, then make the short drive, we get rained on, twice, we play, and God seeks out the heart of Roderick... the last dude standing when we quit playing. He walks up with his lady on his arm, asks for prayer, and we sit in the gardens at the Rose Festival, praying hand in hand for a man with a yearning in his soul. One of the team members remarks later "If we were meant to be here for no other reason, it was for that man". And I am struck suddenly...Lord forgive me, for an unwillingness to hear your voice speak to the lost...the lonely, the hurting.
Sunday May 3 : Church services. I wake up with a glad heart, still awestruck by how God spoke to me the previous day. I think "this is tha day You have made, and I am glad in it. I'm gonna worship today, and not worry about leading so much as worshipping. We did a song called "Here in Your Presence" by Ross Parsley, and had baptisms following that song. I was struck again... this time almost violently so. As I watched 35+ people be baptised, I realized the wording of the song..."Here in Your presence, we are undone. Here in your presence, Heaven and Earth become one. Here in your presence, all things are new. Here in your presence, humbly we bow before You". And I started to feel God there, and I cried like a baby. Those close friends (that saw me) wondered if I was OK, and I am grateful to them for the hugs, the tears, and the shared "God moment". I literally had to go outside and sit while God poured his Love on me...and I could do nothing but cry.

One day earlier...I had prayed to get out of an opportunity to use this gift he has given me. He has already laid his claim on me and I will be His worship leader, or lead worshipper, or lead musician or whatever for the rest of my life. Only He knows why...He sees something in me deeper than what I see in myself. I would not have chosen me...if I had been Him. Wait...hold up. If I had been Him I would have seen the thing that I can't see, so maybe I am a good choice, maybe the only choice to do what I do, or what He does thru me. Confused? Don't worry, you'll get over it.
My point... God has lifted me over a wall I hadn't even realized was there, taken me to a new place. proven to me beyond the shadow that He speaks thru me, thru the music, thru the emotion, thru that one thing...LOVE.
Forgive me Lord. Know that my heart is true. Thanks for keeping me there.